It's dawned on me lately that there is nothing so much I would like better than to be a hobbit.
Yes, I did say hobbit, my friends.
A hobbit! Imagine the possibilities! Yes. In a charming green land called the Shire I would live and dwell in a cozy house tunneling under a hill, perhaps with a green round door, perhaps with a red one (but a round door, nevertheless). Perhaps I'd be considered extremely respectable, because I had lots of money and never dared to do anything extraordinary, as is the way with the hobbits. Perhaps I'd love to wander the forests of Buckland, the hills of the North Moors, or venture into Far Downs, or maybe I'd be simply contented to sip tea and eat scones in my little dwelling until my Eleventy-first birthday.
Or. . .perhaps I would be one of those notorious Took hobbits, with the adventurous streak in them that made them seem rather bizarre to the other, more quiet folk. Perhaps I'd know many-a-song of lands faraway from the Shire and dream of going there...like a dear little fellow named Bilbo once did. Maybe I'd fight a dragon and earn quite the pretty penny for it or perhaps save Middle Earth altogether.
Okay, okay. I'll admit. There are
- They seem to have an awfully hard time riding
largeregular-sized horses. - They tend to have rather round bellies, and wear bright colors, which do not agree with my uber-pale skin tone!
- They have hair on their feet in abundance and have to keep it "neatly combed."
- They shy away from adventure and tend to remain in their holes contentedly.
BUT....the good things about being a hobbit significantly outnumber the bad!!!
- They get to have six (or so) meals a day!
- They keep their pantries and cupboards very well-stocked.
- They love to give parties and socialize with other hobbits.
- Their door-frames wouldn't make me feel so terribly short.
- They are humble folk.
- They enjoy ale and singing and have curly hair atop their heads.
- They have names like Bilbo, Frodo, Samewise, Meriadoc, Belladonna, and Peregrin...I mean come on....who wouldn't want a name like that?!
- They appreciate a wizard's fireworks.
- They dance merrily.
I have this little, yellowing page from "The Hobbit" that tore out of the book. I keep it pinned above my desk...for inspiration, I suppose. I mean, I'd much rather be studying subordinate clauses and solving 50 math problems than stare at this paper, dreaming up exactly what a hobbit is, and if it's at all possible for me to become one:
"Hobbits are little people, smaller than dwarves. They love peace and quiet and good tilled earth. They dislike machines, but they are handy with tools. They are nimble but don't like to hurry. They have sharp ears and eyes. They are inclined to be fat. They wear bright colors but seldom wear shoes. They like to laugh and eat (six meals a day) and drink. They like parties and they like to give gifts and receive presents. They inhabit a land they call the Shire, a place between the River Brandywine the Far Downs."
I read it. And I smile. . .ah, Tolkien. You genuis.
You see, hobbits seem to have quite the care-free life. They set quite the example of how folks ought to relax and be merry and enjoy life, don't you agree? Therefore, you can't blame me for aspiring to be a hobbit. They're basically the coolest creatures in Middle Earth.
Forget the noble elves. Forget the wealthy dwarves. Forget the cunning wizards.
Hobbits rule.
And though hobbits are shy folk, an occasional, exceptionally brave one comes along every once and a while. . . .
It's probably this rare brave-streak, and general charming personality that makes hobbits so very wonderful. In any case, whether or not I do spend my years in Hobbiton, or just settle to watch the movies a million times and memorize each line, or read and re-read my copy of the trilogy until the pages have all crumbled away in my hands and the ink faded to nearly nothing...I think it's very safe to say, I will forever be a hobbit at heart.
